Suggestions for John McCain's running mate

Hilarious ideas from Capitol Punishment on who should complete the GOP ticket. I've picked my favorite out of the list of 50.


-WARREN BUFFET: World’s richest man can’t hurt, in case the campaign needs a loan. Or the country.
-JAMES EARL JONES: The most trusted voice in show business.
-DAN QUAYLE: Knows the drill.
-ED MCMAHON: Knows the drill AND he knows the intro, “Here’s Joohhhnyyyyyy!”
-RONALD REAGAN: Quit pussyfooting around. It’s what the base wants. Who cares if he’s dead? How much less animated is that from second term?
-KAY BAILEY HUTCHISON: Takes “woman” thing out of play.
-CINDY MCCAIN: Takes “woman” thing out of play, and keeps it in the family.
-COLIN POWELL: Takes “black” thing out of play.
-CONDOLEEZZA RICE: Takes “woman and black” things out of play.
-JOAN RIVERS: Takes “old” thing out of play. “Woman” thing still in play.
-ANDY ROONEY: Really takes “old” thing out of play. No, really.
-ALAN GREENSPAN: Wasn’t everything a whole lot better when he was in charge? And takes “old” thing out of play.
-MARY CHENEY: Takes “lesbian” and “unwed mother” things out of play.
-DICK CHENEY: What the hell? Something to be said for continuity.
-REGIS PHILBIN: A touch of Hollywood. Old Hollywood, but Hollywood nonetheless.
-MIKE HUCKABEE: Plays popular former “Governor of Arkansas” card.
-RUDI GIULIANI: Sop to huge pro-choice, pro-gay rights, pro-gun control wing of the GOP. Not to mention NEW YORK.
-HILLARY CLINTON: Wants it so bad, she’d cross the aisle for death-watch slot.
-MICHAEL BLOOMBERG: Independents? You want independents? We got your independents right here.
-MIA HAMM: Soccer Moms? You want soccer moms? We got your soccer moms right here.
-DALE EARNHARDT JR.: NASCAR dads? You want NASCAR dads? We got your NASCAR dads right here.
-RON PAUL: Two words—Texas, Dammit.
-CHUCK NORRIS: Locks down Huckabee contingent and firms up “Total Kick Ass” Presidential ticket.
-MITT ROMNEY: Just to exploit the incredible chemistry between the two.
-BRETT FAVRE: Terrific name recognition. Needs a job. Sews up Wisconsin and Mississippi.
-KEIFER SUTHERLAND: What right winger doesn’t love Jack Bauer? Torture question becomes moot.
-WILLIE NELSON: Do you have any idea of what percentage of this country smokes pot?
-SNOOP DOGG: Puts the sha-sizzle back in the campaign-izzle.
-STEPHEN HAWKING: Not American born. But who would quibble with smartest man in the world?
-KARL ROVE: Assassination insurance.
-DONALD RUMSFELD: See Karl Rove.
-NEWT GINGRICH: See Karl Rove.
-JACK KEVORKIAN: Looking to enter politics and makes top of the ticket lovable and youthful and animated. Also, see Karl Rove.