Conversations with Charlie

"Just try to stay calm mom."

"Next time you get mad at me, remember. "

"Daddy is grumpy. Who's usually grumpy?"
"You."

Just our Charlie man, keeping the peace

Bridget

I had the incredible opportunity to go visit Catherine and Richard and their four kids for 5 days. What a sacred, special experience. Bridget, their 4th baby, was born with some unexpected health challenges and Cat needed some additional support. They have felt so strengthened by the power of prayer and the priesthood through this trial and I feel like some of that oozed over into my little family. I've never been able to leave my kids that long and have everyone do so well in my absence. It was miraculous. I left all three (first time leaving Bonnie!) with John and they all thrived.

I had to take this photo- I'm sharing my Coke with a "Champ" which Bridget certainly is

Halloween 2015

This has been my most low key Halloween ever. A big reason for that is because Baby Bridget was born earlier this month, and we have been concerned and focused on her. Her precious life is such a powerful reminder of what is most important. 

Recently, I have also been practicing to tame the FOMO beast (Fear of Missing Out) and feeling so much peace in doing so. We carved our one pumpkin on Halloween night. I didn't decorate the house other than that. I wore a very low key costume (stay at home mom Dorothy Gale) to only one event, and John didn't wear a costume at all! That doesn't sound that big of a deal, but almost every year of our marriage we have done a coordinating couple costume or family costume theme and decked our house out in decorations. 

We had plenty of Halloween outings- parties at school and preschool and playgroups and church- so I really didn't need to do anything other than those to show my kids a good time. 

I had a crazy busy day on Thursday with a dance class party for George at the same time as Charlie's school parade, plus Charlie and George's class parties at the exact same time. Charlie was also Star Student that day AND had show and tell. Luckily, I had help making it all happen- John took the morning off of work and my friend Jessica picked up George from dance (her little boy was his guest to the dance class party) and kept him all morning, fed him lunch and then took him to preschool. 

I had a lot of fun helping in Charlie's class, making an apple juice and dry ice witch's brew. When I asked Charlie if I could wear a costume to help at his class party, he looked at me horrified and said, "No!" One of the other moms let me borrow her witch hat so I was more legit. 

On the night of Halloween, we skipped the neighborhood parties and potluck and our kids opted to stay home and pass out candy instead of trick or treating. We went to our next door neighbor and that is it! Normally, I would have felt defeated and sad, and in the past sometimes we've missed out on things for kind of sad reasons, so it isn't only my FOMO that has made me feel down. But this year we are having such a lovely October, everyone is doing so well! So to choose to stay home just because we felt like it was really quite wonderful. 

We had such a fun night together. We watched The Princess Bride for the first time ever and all day today Charlie has been quoting lines and laughing at parts of the movie with me. He's even said, "Mom, as you wish" a few times with a little smile and gleam in his eye because he knows in the film it means, "I love you." Heart melter. 

Bonnie the Monkey (aka "Bonkey")

George the pirate (recycled costume from last year!) and his friend Sam Plumb

Charlie the robber (admittedly, I did stay up very late working on that t shirt (hand sewing together two other shirts we had) and assembling that LEGO Mixel for him for show and tell. So that part wasn't very low stress, but he was overjoyed by both surprises in the morning so it was definitely worth it). 

Bonnie Repeats

Today alone she 

-sang along to the radio (Kelly Clarkson "Heartbeat song"- is has a part that goes "Up up up up all night long, up up all night long" and she was singing ba ba ba ba.)

-learned the word Oreo at Costco after all three kids got an Oreo sample and we were singing the "Or-e-o, or-eeee-o" song from Wreck-It Ralph.

        (The Oreo aftermath)

- George had some new Play-Doh in the car and was telling Bonnie to say "Play-Doh". After a few tries, she got "ā" then after a few more was saying "ā-dō". 

- also in the car we taught her "Apple" and she was saying "Pul" after a few times.

Bonnie's first birthday

Does anyone else feel like the first birthday party is really about the mom? Um, yeah. I had fun planning this shindig and I had lots of helpers to make it fantastic and fun. Lily helped me with the labor of love rainbow layer cake. John watched the kids all day so I could make it. My in-laws hosted at their home, many others brought food, my sister made a backdrop for me, and my brothers-in-law Sam and Richard took pictures. Most importantly, we had our loved ones with us to celebrate our Bonnie Rose. 

My best life teacher

My children are my best life teachers. Charlie, in particular, has stretched and humbled me. Partly because he's my first child and I'm learning as I go, but partly because of who he is- an extremely bright, capable, curious, creative, active, strong little person who also happens to have autism.

I remarked to my therapist the other day that in their own ways, my children are each my favorite. I'm sure that feeling is familiar to other parents. My relationship with each kid is so unique and poignant in its own way. 

The reason Charlie is my "favorite" is because our relationship is so hard won. We are fiercely bonded. Our highs are soaring and our lows are devastating. We are so similar in some ways- our need for physical touch to connect, our stubbornness, our hot tempers, our tender hearts. I speak that language of his fluently, because it is how I operate, too. He has other traits that I don't understand as easily. I have come to know that part of him by observation, as an outsider. He is analytical, scientific, and mathematical, often solving complex problems in his head. He's creative, building complex and unique things out of unexpected mediums. This week alone he has made a tornado out of aluminum foil, a camera out of LEGO, and giant zombie sculptures blocks in his Minecraft video game.

I feel so lucky to be his mom. 

California trip- January 2015

Bonnie was the best little travel companion for this trip! I went to California to support, teach and train my doTERRA team members there. Kate and Jeff went, too, and took their kids, but mostly I was on my own with Bonnie. It was great to get some alone time and quality time with her, but truthfully, I missed my family like crazy!

Just waiting to board our flight

It was perfect time to leave Salt Lake- it was so gray and cold and polluted and gross

Getting better...

Sunny California... ahhh

So funny and fun to run into my friend, Katy, on her way to Disneyland with her mom and kids. We were on the same flight and using the same rental car place.

Taking our monthly picture in a hotel room- beautiful Bonnie, 6 months old!

Kate and I squeezed in one little pool session with the kiddos

Sink baths are pretty fun

Some of my team at one of our classes! Sharron, Brandi, new friend Oxana, and Carissa

Cutest little breakfast date at the hotel with a poolside view

Giant (aloe?) plant!

Lemons growing in someone's front yard- California is such a showoff

My sweet boys having so much fun at Grandma and Grandpa's house with Uncle Sam and Grandma Sue

We went to the Spectrum mall which is so fun- Ferris wheel, carousel- can't wait to take the boys there one day. 

Just hanging with my niece, Scarlett

I love Jude's "cheese" face

I had a free evening to myself and even though the traffic was a little bad, I drove 20 minutes to get to Newport Beach. I was so lucky- I got there just in time for sunset. It's been so long since I've been to the ocean and I really forgot what it was like- so powerful and enormous and beautiful. It was great to reconnect to nature in that way. 

Bonnie made lots of friends at the beach... :)

And then I was back in Salt Lake, where thankfully, the air had cleared a bit. I couldn't wait to squeeze my boys!