Co-sleeping (originally published Feb. 28, 2010)

This post was originally published here in 2010. 

Bringing home my newborn baby was one of the most surreal moments of my life. Not only was I responsible for this little human’s survival and happiness, I had to make all the rules regarding his care. It was overwhelming to begin to make these decisions for Charlie.
One decision was where he should sleep at night. Holding him in my arms all night didn’t seem unreasonable to me! We had a crib in the nursery that adjoined our room, a mere eight feet away from our bed.

It was too far away.

We had a bassinet in our room that I placed next to my side of the bed, two feet away from me.

Still too far away.

I wanted Charlie right next to me where I could reach out and touch him in the night. I had spent over 9 months with no separation between our bodies at all and it seemed so foreign and strange to me to be apart from him.

After three sleepless nights, I found this co-sleeper and had it shipped overnight. I was finally able to rest comfortably, with my baby sleeping safely beside me where I could see, hear, touch and nurse him throughout the night.

As he grew bigger and I grew as a parent, co-sleeping continued to be our family preference. He outgrew the co-sleeper and I read up on safe family sleeping. I learned to breastfeed lying down, so Charlie’s night feedings barely woke either of us. I began to feel more rested. The peace of mind of having him near me allowed me to overcome a lot of my new-mother anxieties.

Sure, there were sacrifices in sharing our bed. We couldn’t read or talk before bed, we had to tiptoe across the incredibly squeaky floor, we had to be creative when it came to, um, connecting as a couple. Occasionally I got head butted or smacked in the eye by my increasingly mobile child. But these inconveniences seemed small in comparison to the benefits of closeness we gained.

Many people have asked me if my husband minded our sleeping arrangement.  Quite the contrary, he is a huge fan of family sleeping! He works long hours and having that extra time with Charlie throughout the night and waking with him in the morning has brought him so much joy.

After 11 months of co-sleeping, we began moving Charlie to his crib. It’s been slow, gentle, and baby-led. Most nights he ends up in our bed in the wee hours for an early morning feeding and we all fall back to sleep together. I love how gradually and peacefully he is learning to sleep on his own. And I love sharing my bed.