Cousins!

Following my Bliss

So, do you ever feel discouraged because you aren't the best at something? I often find myself not wanting to pursue something because I am not ever going to live up to the ideal I see in my head, or on the page in front of me, or (especially) on someone's blog. Which is silly, I know, but I still feel like my efforts aren't going to be validated or valued because they aren't good enough. Or maybe not as good as they could be. This is my fear. My other fear, which is very much related, is that I won't be taken seriously. My hobbies and dreams are not unique and in the last few years, they have become so commonplace as to almost become cliche. I don't want to be cliche or common. (Who does???)

* * *

I was at lunch with two delightful friends (Mel and Carolyn) whom I don't see often enough. We were reconnecting and reminiscing, telling funny stories and catching up. The lunch was winding down and I was beginning to feel the tug to get back to my baby when Mel asked me a question that pierced right to my heart and made it crack wide open. "Barbie," she said, (she calls me Barbie as only a very select and elect few do), "What do you want to be when you grow up?" What surprised me most was not what I said but how easily it came forth, as if I'd been waiting for someone to ask me that very question.

* * *

I spent my early twenties (*gulp*) pursuing interests that brought me measures of happiness for a season. I tried lots of different jobs in different fields. I slowly kept working on my degree, changing my major once. I was in a process of elimination- learning what I liked and disliked about myself, my work, my hobbies and changing as I learned. I worked on my relationships with John, with myself, with my family, with God.

Now that I am in my late twenties (*double gulp*) and have become a mother, I feel like my time is so much more valuable. It is not mine alone anymore. The things I choose to invest time in often mean time away from my family, so they had better be worth it to me!

* * *

The question was still hanging in the air when I answered Mel.

"I want to be a mom and have a million kids. I want to be home when my kids get home from school. I want their friends to want to hang out at my house. I want to feed everyone."

That part was easy to admit. I am a motherer and my friends know that about me. The next part was scarier to say out loud.

"And I want to be a photographer. And a blogger. Like, a professional blogger."

Even in my safe little circle of friends who have known me since I was an awkward, loud thirteen-year-old, I was afraid to hear their response. There it is again, that fear. My beautiful, talented, smart, accomplished friends were nothing but encouraging which gave me a glimmer of courage.

Enough courage to write this post. Enough courage to register for my first blogging conference.

Charlie- 10 months

Wow, Charlie boy, you are growing and changing so much every day! You are getting really good at standing up- I've even caught you standing without holding onto anything a few times! You can cruise along furniture superbly but sometimes you forget how to sit down again and have to call out for some help. You still love balls, music, water, pots and pans, peekaboo, chase, brooms, showers, and baths. The first thing you say to me in the morning when you wake up is "Ba!" You love the vacuum, even when it isn't on you will crawl right to it and want to touch every (dirty) part of it. You have started to screech and scream when you don't get your way which we don't particularly enjoy.

We've had a rough winter- several colds, croup, and stomach flu. You are sick again right now with a cold but you still try so hard to be pleasant. You really wail when I wipe your booger-y nose, though- sorry about that, buddy.

This past month you started biting me while nursing which led to some yelling out in pain (on my part) and tears (on your part). One time you even drew blood! After researching in the Nursing Mother's Handbook, I determined you probably were feeling some teething pain and were biting me to try to alleviate it. Upon investigation, I saw two GIGANTIC bulges on your upper gum where your front teeth are coming in. We were more diligent with the Baby Orajel and let you bite on other things. One of your top teeth finally broke through, so that helps, too. You are still trying to break that other top tooth, so I've been pumping and you've been having bottles until you are less bite-y.

Here's some other fun things you like to do:

You love to vacuum with Daddy

Crawling in your tunnel from IKEA

Playing the drums- still a favorite activity. Daddy bought you some "kid sticks" that are smaller and lightweight and you LOVE them.

You love this bucket, and all of the mops and brooms. You'll push them around or crawl with them in your hands. Grandma stepped it up and gave you a ride IN the bucket. Good times.



We love you, little man!

Happy 4 years!

Tomorrow is our fourth anniversary! We have now officially been married longer than we dated. :)




I love this good man and I have loved seeing him as a father this year. It's no wonder than one of Charlie's first and favorite words is "Dad."

Here's some of our "greatest hits":

-Our healthy, beautiful, life-altering, joy-filled, sweet, funny baby boy

-Great concerts, including Coldplay, Muse, Sara Bareilles, Ingrid Michaelson, Keane, The Police, and Sarah McLaughlin

(Coldplay, 2008)



-Memorable trips to London; Austin, Texas, New York City; Philadelphia; Chicago; Las Vegas; Disneyland; Sun Valley, Idaho; and Moab, Utah

(London, 2006)



-Dozens of birthday dinners (including family members)

(here we are on my 21st birthday)

-8 Halloweens

(as trailer trash in 2003)

-Hundreds of dates

(all dressed up for U of U Homecoming 2003)

-and 5 bands, 2 campaigns, 2 legislative sessions, 3 cars, 7 moves, 13 jobs, 6.5 years serving in Primary, 2 nephews and 1 niece

It's been a great life so far and I'm looking forward to a whole lifetime more! Love you, Johnny!!

Christmas 2009 (aka Charlie's! First! Christmas!)

We had a lot of pressure this year to ensure that Charlie's! First! Christmas! would go well. Luckily, it seemed we were successful in our preparations and a good time was had by all. We are fortunate enough to live close to both of our families and because of that we were included in many holiday celebrations. (Although, when talking to my sister about her very low-key, peaceful, homey, SIMPLE Christmas in the Middle East, it sounded heavenly to me. The hustle and bustle of scurrying around I could live without!)

My favorite thing about Christmas this year is a new tradition that John and I started. After all the guests had gone home and Charlie was asleep, we sat under the Christmas tree and opened our gifts to each other late on Christmas Eve. It was really special to spend that time just the two of us!

Charlie received some great gifts from loving family members but of course, he was more interested in the orange and apple from my stocking (because they are balls to him!) and all the boxes and wrapping paper.

Here's a few photos:

Christmas tree bokeh

Even my normally friendly baby found Santa a little frightening!

On Christmas Eve, we hosted my brother's family and in-laws for a Christmas Eve dinner pajama party. We had the most gigantic breakfast for dinner (scones, fruit, bacon, hash browns, quiche) and opened a few presents.

Charlie the champion crawler loved "helping" Daddy vacuum (which to our surprise, he isn't afraid of at all!) (Please notice my mom's awesome Christmas jammies).

Kerry (my sister-in-law) and her sister, Kristin, checking out the Christmas cards

Uncle Steve and Charlie

Our little family on Charlie's! First! Christmas!

"Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas!"

Sam was excited to open up a new sled

And Grandpa Marty helped Sam and Lily try out their new sleds right away!

Charlie and Grandma Bev

Charlie and Auntie Barb

Charlie was mesmerized by the Christmas tree
(notice the lack of ornaments on the lowest branches)

On Christmas morning, we went to Steve and Kerry's house to open more presents!

Grandpa Marty helping Sam put together Lego models- Sam was occupied by this for hours!

The whole crew- (clockwise from middle) Lily, Steve, Grandma Bev, Charlie, Barb, Grandpa Marty, Grandma Peggy, Kerry and Sam (not pictured: Kristin and Johnny)

Lily and Sam picked out the cutest gifts for Charlie- one of which, a singing pig (not pictured), he loves dancing along

Sam and Lily were all about opening gifts and when they moved onto the next one, Charlie was all about playing with their momentarily discarded toys!

Later Christmas Day, we gathered at Grandma and Grandpa T's house for a luncheon, opening gifts, playing Rock Band, watching movies, and talking to our missionary, Elder Sam!

Jeff, Breea, Charlie and John playing RockBand (Breea and Charlie were playing the yoga ball- a very important instrument)

Baby James- check out his awesome Rudolf slippers!

What a cute little Christmas elf!

Anne was a perky Santa

I love this picture of Charlie and Uncle Jeff because you can see some of Charlie's little dimples. Precious.

John's a perky elf, too

The whole crew (L-R: Mark, Grandpa T, James, Chelsea, Grandma T, Anne, Jeff, Kate, Breea, Dave, Charlie, Barb, and Johnny)


All lined up, youngest to oldest, waiting to go open presents. Poor Anne- Sam is finally gone on a mission and she got booted out of first place by the babies. ;) I love this photo because James is so excited to grab Chelsea's hat and Charlie can't quite figure out what we're doing.

Charlie helped Daddy open his stocking

Dave and Breea, Mark and James

Anne, Kate, Jeff and Uncle Jim

The Sunday after Christmas, we had our ward choir program. My mom made John and Charlie matching Christmas vests! Aren't they dapper?

John, my mom and I are all in the choir so we needed someone to watch Charlie. Steve came to tend him and Charlie fell asleep in his arms! He shall now be known as the Baby Whisperer.



It was a great holiday. I'm so glad my mom could be here to celebrate with us! However, I missed being with Richard, Cat and my dad. It was a little tricky to work in Charlie's napping schedule while being shuffled around to so many different places but there were plenty of people willing to hold and love him!!

Heartsick for Haiti

Today I have had the people of Haiti on my mind and in my heart. Please read this excellent post by Chris Sacca (via Dooce) about six ways you can help now. I am also so thankful and pleased to read this article about the humanitarian aid that the LDS church and Islamic Relief USA have partnered to send to Haiti. I am so happy that my church can be one of the first responders to this tragedy and that it has such a great relationship with the Islamic humanitarian aid branch. I have donated and I hope you will, too!

1 week vs. 9 months

My sister-in-law, Kerry, aka She Who Is Like Unto Aphrodite (SWILUA), requested the comparison shots of Charlie at 1 week and Charlie now. I don't like to mess with Divine Goddesses, so I of course, complied. :)

Charlie, 1 week old

Charlie, 9 months old

Charlie- 9 months old

Not a cheerful picture- he was mad that I wouldn't let him stand up in the rocking chair

Charlie turned 9 months old on Christmas day! He's turning into such a big boy and I'm amazed at how quickly he masters new skills now. He weighs 24 lbs (almost exactly) and is 29 inches long/tall which lands him still in the 90's percentage wise. Here is what he's up to recently:

-Exploring new facial expressions, like this one:

... and this one, where he puts his eyebrows waaayy up when he's excited or interested or just being cute. I finally caught it on camera!

-He is officially crawling! He is quick and gets into everything! He does the hands and knees crawling but what he prefers most recently is one or two moves forward on his hands and knees with a little hop forward in between. It is so cute. It's like he has a little hitch in his giddy-up.

Daddy and Charlie putting together a new, super strength baby gate to keep our new crawler from taking a header down the stairs.

My brother, Steve, came to our sacrament meeting to watch Charlie while John and I were singing in the choir Christmas program. He shall now be known as the Baby Whisperer.

Charlie helping us do some shopping (his job was holding/chewing on my wallet)

Making some phone calls

-Can push himself up from crawling to sitting.

-He has begun to pull himself to standing. His preferred tool is the bathtub- it's just the right height for him to grab onto. He crawls over, reaches both hands up, pulls himself onto his knees then keeps pulling until his knees slide over then stands up. It's hilarious and very cute.



-Loves to dance (kicking his legs and bouncing his torso and head) when he hears music or when John starts drumming with him. He loves music of any kind, in the car, at the piano, on his toys, and at church... he likes to "sing" along.

-Loves to play the drums whether it's the RockBand set, John's drum kit in the studio or his little toy bongos, he's all about it!



-He loves balls (especially the big green yoga ball at Grandma and Grandpa T's). He is working on throwing the ball, too. Right now he throws his arm then drops the ball. Pretty good for 9 months, I'd say!

Playing ball with Grandma Bev

-He says "Da" for Daddy and "Hi". I think he says "Ba" for ball, but it's too early for a conclusive decision on that one. When he wants to nurse or he's sad he cries out for me by saying, "Ma" or "Mmmm" which is heartbreakingly adorable every time.

-He eats Cheerios (Grandma Sue got me to realize that he could do it one day) and Gerber puffs like a champ. He still loves baby food, his favorites being sweet potatoes and carrots. He likes noodles, too, and it pretty up for trying almost anything off our plates.

-Finally has a TOOTH! He has been working on it for a few weeks now and it finally has broken through. It's the bottom left middle one and the one right next to it is thinking about coming in as well. EDIT: Since I started writing this post a couple of days ago, the second bottom tooth has broken through and there's a bulge on his upper gum as well. Oh, mamacita!

-Drinks water out of a cup while holding it by himself. If we put just about a half an inch in the cup he doesn't spill or choke on it. It's pretty darling and impressive. He usually uses a plastic cup but when I help him use a glass, you can hear his little tooth clinking against the side of the glass.

-He loves to play Peekaboo and has started putting the blanket over his head on his own to play with us. He also gets so excited when other people are nearby when I'm holding him- he thinks everyone is playing "I'm gonna get you!"

-Loves to play in the pots and pans




-Likes to go sit in the car with Daddy while it is warming up.




He's a joy to be around, even when he's in pain from teething or bonking his head on his crawling adventures. We love this little guy!