I read Andrea's post today about deal breakers and I loved it so much that I thought I'd post about it, too. She posed the question, What are your "deal breakers?". What do you absolutely need to have (or cannot tolerate) in a boyfriend or husband? I thought back to my dating days and realized that the things I always thought I wanted in a spouse were not the same thing as what I really *need*. This is what I posted (mostly) in response to Andrea's post.
"I once dated a boy who matched my "seminary list" to perfection. But two things really bugged me about him- 1) he put me on a pedestal and 2) we had no chemistry. #1 was confusing for a while but then I realized that I wanted a partner, not a prince. And chemistry, hello, I was naive to think it wasn't important.
So after that relationship, those two things were added to my list, which is as follows.
1. smart (must, must be intelligent)
2. funny (that we find the same things funny and make each other laugh)
3. attractive (not in a "devastatingly handsome" sort of way, but an actual, physical attraction to another person- you know, that *spark*)
4. a partner (he needs me, I need him, we both take care of each other)
5. kind, gentle, spiritual, sensitive (I don't want a "hard" guy, I want a open and available guy)
6. Not perfect, but perfect for me
Luckily, I figured out what my deal breakers were before I got married (I could have ended up with someone totally wrong for me!) So I want to know (and so does Andrea), what are your deal breakers?
My #1 deal breaker is if he is not 100% honest. Even one or two seemingly "small" lies are dealbreakers for me. Not something I tolerate. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it could be worse...
ReplyDeleteI loved your comment to my post and also this post. When you wrote about the guy who put you on a pedestal...that struck a chord with me.
ReplyDeleteI would say my other big deal breaker is judgemental, close minded people. I just can't handle that.